Ta2Guy.Dan a/k/a HoleyGuy's

Un Natural Holes Page

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Having had six tattoos at the time I got my first piercing, including major work covering almost all of my upper front and back,
of course I was still (HELL, I still AM) somewhat afraid of needles! I only had about 30 hours total under the tattoo needle,
after all. BUT at least those tattoo needles don't look like large drain pipes.

But I was told that while a big piercing needle might hurt a little more for a fraction
of a second than those little tattoo needles, the pain of a piercing is over almost before you know it,
while the pain of tattooing lasts as long as the tattoo session. That made sense to me.
At least on some areas, after three or four hours, getting tattooed really does begin to hurt.
But my piercer could not believe a guy with all of those tattoos was worried about
the pain involved in getting his little old nipples poked!

Anyhow, I was still Very Nervous, but I had been thinking about this modification for months by the time I did it, and
for some reason on November 3, 2000, the time just finally seemed to be right. So I went to the shop where
all but my first three tats were done. Alex had been there when most of my ink was applied and so we know each other pretty well.
I told her that she was going to have to "talk me into it" to get me over my fear. She didn't try too hard,
probably knowing that I was really ready to do it or I wouldn't be there talking about it. I told her
I wanted the largest hole and biggest ring she thought would be OK to use.
She recommended that we go with 12 gauge although she would do 10s if I insisted. So that is what I wanted.
But she only had one 10 x 5/8 ring, so we would have to wait for a shipment!
NOW OR NEVER, I feared. And she had shown me both ten and twelve gauge needles.
The ten looked like a damn storm sewer pipe while the twelve just looked like a regular water drain pipe.
So I decided, let's use the 12s.

Alex hurt my feelings right away. She was having a hard time getting the marks right
and told me that one nip was bigger than the other.
And I had always thought I had a perfect body.

So she finally got the marks to suit both of us, opened everything up, and put
the clamp on my left tit. That was no problem, in fact I kinda liked it!
I asked, "how long will it take to poke the hole, about as long as it takes me to say f...u...c...k ?"
She thought that was about the right amount on time.
So I said OK, go ahead.

The first one hurt like hell. But Alex said I didn't use the f-word. She got the ring in and I jumped up
and walked around cursing and muttering, trying to decide whether to leave or let her do the other one.
Since I hate being lopsided (as soon as I got a tat on one leg or arm,
I wanted my symmetry restored and had to have one on the opposite limb), I climbed back on the table
and told her to go ahead with the right one right now, no coming back another day!

DAMN The second one was even worse! I cursed and bitched alot. Didn't help, though. Never does . . .

So both nips now sported 12 gauge by 3/4 inch rings, implanted on November 3, 2000.
I knew getting that first piercing would be like getting the first tattoo, which I thought about for
only almost thirty years before I got the courage to do it. But I was back for tattoo number two a week later,
then a major back piece three months later, and had my sixth one done in less than a year.
I was hoping against all hope that the piercing addiction isn't that bad, since I really could not imagine
where to put that many holes in my already perfect body!

Like with the first tattoo, at first I had a really hard time believing I had actually gotten that first piercing.
But there was no doubt about it, the silvery evidence was (IS) right there in my tits; every time I move,
I can feel them! I do like them though. One of them bled a little the first night, but I never had many problems with them.
The soreness lasted only about 18 to 20 hours.
Going up to ten gauge in about six weeks was no problem at all, did it myself.
About two months later, I got Alex to stretch me up to eight gauge.
Sonofabitch, that hurt worse than the original piercing (I think).
Then about three months later, in May I think, I got them upped
to six gauge in Dallas. A spontaneous decision, you know?

Just cannot leave well enough alone, I guess.

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These are some of the stuff I have put in my nipholes (all six guage).

I definitely prefer rings! Barbells are no fun. No sin-sation!
And of course the bigger your balls are, the better!
The third pic is a 20mm ball (weighs 1.2 ounces with a .4 ounce ring) I have used with rings from 10g to 6g.
The lock is one inch body (weighs 1.9 ounces), shackle a little bigger than 6 gauge, a bit HEAVY, but fun!
A 3/4 inch lock has a 1/8 inch shackle which works with an 8 gauge piercing, if you want to try it.

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On Thursday, October 4, Alex stretched ( OWW ! ! S**T ! ! ! ) my right hole to accept a .5 ounce, four gauge ring.
I talked REALLY UGLY to her and jerked the taper out before she could finish the left one.
But I submitted to her and let her do it on Monday. It still hurt, BTW. ALOT.

But ya know, it only hurts for a little while.
So after a few days I started thinking about gauging up again. But from four to two is a BIG STRETCH!
Makes the old knobs throb just to think about it. So I had Alex look for some three gauge (.2294 inch) rings.
She said she couldn't find any. So one weekend I was bored and surfing the www and found some
acrylic rings and tapered "claws" on BME and ordered them. Damn they looked big. But then so did
those four gauge when I got first got them installed. So I began weighting the rings
for awhile just about every day. That hurt if I left them too long, but I gradually
increased the time and it got to where it wasn't so bad.

Well, remember what I said about addiction?
That is one thing about piercing, you can always get a new fix from enlarging an old hole!

On January 19, I wanted a tattoo. Really. In fact, I wanted one REALLY BADLY!
I went to Mike and showed him what I wanted. But being the artiste he is, he of course had to redraw it!
I said OK, but I really want it TODAY. But he said NO, come back next week. WELL SHIT ! ! !
So I went home and emailed Mike about ten different designs I had considered for the new tattoo.
Then I pouted for awhile because I was having to wait. Then I thought about my three gauge rings.
And looked at the holes in the nips. And said, WELL SHIT ! ! ! No pain, no gain.
(Who said that? Silly SOB was right though.) So I did it! Tapered with the claws, followed by the rings.
You know, weights hanging from the rings (not to mention the four gauge rings are pretty heavy themselves)
damn sure did the trick. They really didn't hurt much! But the silly plastic rings are so damned light
that they won't even hang down right, and the damned beads won't stay in. So I got Alex to order me some rings.
Apparently above 4 gauge (.2043 inch), the body jewelry folks generally go to metric, so I got some
6 mm (.2363 inch) by 19mm rings. I was planning to go on up to two gauge as soon as I got over the minor
soreness and could find some two gauge (.2576 inch) rings or else suffer up to 7 mm (.2756 inch).

And guess what? That's an easy fit for lots of nice padlocks which have one-quarter inch shackles!

How much fun can that be ! ? !

Since I was 50 when I got my first tattoo and 51 when I got my nips poked,
I was living up to my new reputation. I am not even going to tell you about
the other piercing I got done on December 7, 2001, when I was 52,
except to mention that it was South of the Border, done on the
sixtieth anniversary of Pearl Harbor Day with an eight gauge pipe.
I sized it up to 6 gauge on January 26 (after about seven weeks),
then stretched it (easily) to four gauge on February 9.
The next new jewelry I ordered came in the mail on February 28, 2002,

Two Gauge Rings for all Three Holes!

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I couldn't believe it.
The new rings slipped effortlessly into all three Holes!

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The holes don't seem to be getting much larger now. So I made a new CBR:
One-quarter inch ring, 1.6 inch ID, (from Home Depot)
with a 1.25 inch closure ball (an industrial bearing ball).
A bit uncomfortable, since it weighs almost half a ton (5.6 ounces, to be exact).
NOT for long term wear ! ! !

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Sometime in 2003 the nipples went to 0 gauge. Here I have my little 1.25 I.D. screwball ring in the nips.
They weigh about 2.4 ounces each. I also have 0 ga. barbells that I wear sometime and 0 ga. X 3/4 inch I.D.
circular barbells that I wear most of the time. After a few months of wearing the 1.25 rings a few hours
to a few days at a time, I could wear them all the time. They really feel good/super-sensitive in a good way!

Never one to leave well enough alone, I got some 10 mm screwball rings. They wouldn't go in when I got them.
I ordered them as 00 gauge (.3648 inch, 9.266 mm) with a taper.
The taper came the right size. With it I could cheat up to 3/8 inch with no problem,
but I didn't have any jewelry that size, so I waited for the holes to stretch themselves
to accomodate the 10 mm, which (with a little teflon tape on the taper) they finally did in September of 2004.

Meanwhile, I went to Los Angeles to the Inkslinger's ball. What a great time I had there!
I had lots of time to look around and wonder what I could get into.
I had thought from time to time about getting another hole poked somewhere.
Ear lobes would be fun, but they are not a big deal until they get BIG, and that takes a long time.
A SEPTUM ring would be fun, though. A perfect way to accessorize! ! !

So I got a guy from Bakersfield, or some damn place in California, to pierce it.
He would only do it at 14 gauge. I didn't realize until I got back home that it was crooked as hell!
When Alex saw it, she freaked because it was so bad and told me to take it out so she could fix it!
She was kinda Angry! She said it was through the cartilage and way too far back.

Guess THAT will teach me about going anywhere but Big Buddha!

So after a few days of healing, Alex pierced it again,
at 10 gauge (BIGGER IS BETTER).

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She stretched it up to 8 gauge two weeks later.
She LOVES to hurt me ! ! !

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Then I stretched it myself up to 6 gauge on December 4, 2004.
Wonder what that says about me ! ! !

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Looks great with the new titanium circular barbells in the nipples!
I like the septum piercing even more than I thought I would, but it still got a little sore sometimes.
I did it on a whim and thought I would probably take it out as soon as I got home.
Guess I should have known better than to think that!

As for the nipples, the 10 mm rings I had were Really Heavy, 2.2 ounces (about the same as my big 0 ga rings).
They NEVER got comfortable. The weight and size together were just too big for my little nips, perhaps?
So I got Alex to order me some three-quarter inch diameter double aught circular bar bells in titanium.
I got them and put them in on October 16, 2004.
OH WHAT A RELIEF! They weigh only about 1.2 ounces,
barely over half the weight of surgical stainless steel, and they felt GREAT.

But they are just a little bit ostentatious to some people.
"Goddam! You sure got some big fucking door knockers there ! ! !"
That is their problem, of course.

I hadn't done much big hole poking in a long time, just sticking
to little old tattoo needles. But I began to think I needed
some lobe holes in 2006. I really don't remember when that
compulsion hit me, since 2006 was NOT a good year, what with
recovering from my motorcycle wreck, but sometime that year
(or it might have been early 2007), I got both of my lobes pierced.
Kenny did them, I think initially at eight gauge.
I was also not getting tattooed dring that time and was really busy,
so I don't have any pictures to document this period. The first pics
I have found with holes in my lobes are from the Meadowlands
convention, when I was getting my neck tattooed.

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The pic at left is me while Mike is working on my neck.
There I have half-inch tunnels with six gauge CBBs in my lobes.
The right pic is me wearing half-inch CBBs in my lobes
after I won Best Overall Tattooed Person at the Meadowlands convention.

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There is something about being in a big city near the
Pacific Ocean that seems to stimulate me to get my septum pierced.
I left the jewelry out of the septum hole I got in 2004 for a few days and it closed up.
So when I was in Seattle in August of 2009, I decided during the flight from
Lubbock to Seattle to follow through with my urge to get it done again.
An hour after I got to Seattle, I hit the streets in search of the right piercer
to do the trick. The first two shops I went to recommended the same shop,
Apocalypse Tattoo, so I went there and found Spooky Robert and got it done.
I was prepared for it to be rather painful because I expected it
to go through scar tissue from the first hole, but I believe that was the least
painful piercing I have ever experienced, even easier than my lobes were.
The pic above is me at the Utilikilts store on August 5, 2009,
shortly after I got the hole punched.

Like the first time I had it done, I don't wear it all the time.
I like it in some ways, but it can be annoying, particularly when I sneeze
or have any kind of sinus problem. And being out in the cold with the
ring installed is just damned frigid! I think I will try to keep the hole,
but I doubt I will ever be a frequent wearer.

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These pictures show me with 3/4-inch tunnels in the more,
shall we say, "conspicuous" lobes of a bald, tattooed head.

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I don't know about you, but I like the look of a
shiny bald head with stretched lobes, with or without big rings!

As for the Southerly Hole, it went from eight gauge to zero gauge
(.01297 inch to .08289 inch) in about four months!
I haven't
worn it much since sometime in the spring of 2003; frankly it has
never been very comfortable. But I can still get a four gauge in it with no problem.
I have come to doubt it will ever completely close up.

Things get looser quicker down South ! ! !

If you REALLY want to know about the South Phole,
email me and I MIGHT tell (maybe even SHOW) you more about it!

So, I have gone from being a real normal guy, a tattoo virgin with no un-natural holes,
to being an exhibitionist with as many as twelve or more tattoos
(now down to ONE BIG TAT, fingers to crown to toes) and six un-natural holes.

Some folks say I am a crazy sonofabitch. Some just think I am a weird bastard.
Some of my friends and family think I am going through a Mid-Life Crisis.

I prefer to think of it as a carefully considered series of Mid-Course Corrections.
With more still needed!

An old guy with a white beard, a full body tattoo suit, and a few well placed holes ! ! !

LIFE IS GOOD ! ! !


Go to Ta2Guy.Org

Last updated Saturday, January 2, 2010

1999 - 2010What Do You Think? ta2guy.dan@gmail.com

And if you do not have any Un Natural Holes, GIT SOME ! ! !